ayah..

ayah.. a father figure in my life..
in islam, to disobey any one of your parents is one of the greatest sins..

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’”
[al-Isra’ 17:23-24]

the quranic verse above significantly shows the importance of parents, and how honourable they are in the eyes of Allah swt..
as for me, i'll try my very best to make my father proud of me..
to make him smile..
and try in every way to make everything just right for him..

i'd have to admit.. for the past few months, things has changed a lot between the two of us..
the presence of the boys have shifted his attention from me..
maybe i'm just used to the fact that i'm the only child..
maybe he thinks i'm old enough not to take it personally..
maybe he thinks that the boys need extra attention..

ayah..
i'm sorry i don't have the guts to say this out to you..
i'm sorry i haven't spoken to you as much as i used to..
i'm sorry i've been quiet and less responsive to you..
but i'm too hurt.. to see you drift away from both mak & i..
i'm trying so hard not to be mad at you..
but you keep pushing me away.. as if i don't exist anymore..
do i still exist? somewhere?

i miss you, ayah..
eventhough you're here.. i don't see the one that i used to know..
times when i was the only one.. :')
i love you, ayah.. i hope things will get better in time..